If each day of the week was a movie genre

It looks like Buzzfeed has a subconscious effect on my writing process as my first blog idea is incredibly clickbaity but I haven’t seen it done before and I know I’ll have a good-time writing it.

Sunday (Horror) – As I am writing this on a Sunday night after a weekend of being perpetually in a state of hungover lethargy, the “scaries” are setting in. It is a lay-up to to say Sunday most resembles a horror movie but if you dig deeper, the similarities are incredibly convenient. Sunday’s almost always start with the energy of possibility, maybe you’ll use the full day to be productive, maybe you’ll have yourself a “Sunday-Funday” and go to brunch and spend the summer weather day drinking out on the patios. Most horror movies start exactly the same way with a group of young, adventurous fun seeker’s having a blast at the rich kid’s lake cabin or deciding to  booz up in the middle of the woods on a camping trip with the amount of single guys clearly outnumbering the hot girls. If your a character in a horror movie though, your fun lasts all of 20 min until the rest of your time is spent in constant fear and dread. The average corporate pee-on can relate cause once the sun goes down, reality starts to set in and you realize your going to spend 40+ hours in the next 5 days sitting at a cube in front of a computer screen…That’s real terror “The Shining” could never get right.

Monday (Drama) – Think the incredibly sappy Oscar “Best-Picture” melo-drama. Right after your commute from hell come Monday morning, you you sit down and fire up your email and realize your fears from the night before were completely justified, But now replaced with fear is the boredom that accompanies responding to the backlog of emails that piled in over the all too short weekend. Monday is tolerable and you can appreciate why your there (to make money), just as you can appreciate the slow, monotonous but well made story of a middle eastern immigrant, but you can think of a million more activities (movies) you’d rather be watching.

Tuesday (Documentary) – After your first day back at work, you’re relatively settled in and have accepted your back on the grind, now its time to focus on being the best fucking corporate entry level hire your manager has ever seen. You start to identify and focus on developing the skills needed to be an absolute stud at your job and you teach yourself how to write a macro, shortcut keys in excel or take the time to write a perfect email being sent to the entire team. Documentaries are brain-food, and while not an “idea” good-time, they teach you something you knew nothing about before, inside and out, and by the end of 90min, you’re an expert on the Syrian Crisis or what a Sommelier is. Some of the best advice I can give someone who is always trying to learn and has a desire to be knowledgeable is too try and knock out a documentary on Netflix once a month, maybe on a Tuesday, cause your sure as shit not hitting up the clubs when you have three full days of work ahead of you.

Wednesday (Indie-flick) – I tend not to drink on Wednesday’s which is surprising because I feel like a black out every Wednesday. Seriously, think of something that’s ever happened in your life on a Wednesday. The day is just a black hole of nothing that you need to go through to the end of your week, but due to the over-my-head time physics involved, the day doesn’t actually exist and you will not actually create any lasting memories from what you experience on a Wednesday.  The Sundance Festival  is the gathering of hundreds of small indie-flicks that not even the most devote movie critic can name half of. Go look at a list right now of what is playing this year and see how many you can name. These movies can produce some gems, and good movies do come out of it every year, but it will be rare and most likely be forgotten about by the next day.

Thursday (Sports Movie) – Come Thursday, you’re rounding third base and can see home plate. You still have to spring and its going to leave you winded, but now the end, and the celebration that will follow you crossing that plate is directly ahead of you. There is nothing that will get you more motivated then watching Rocky (I-IV are the only ones that exist in my head) or Remember the Titans, but each are not without their slow parts. Thursday is a day of focused hard work so you can spend your Friday afternoon slacking off and subsequently hammering back shots of fireball, trying to pick up the girl standing closest to you. at the same bar you go to every 7 days.

Friday (Comedy) – If you did your job right the first four days of the week, there is no way you are taking Friday seriously. Turn the brightness down on your monitor and keep one ear open for your boss rounding the corner so you can have March Madness or the Masters open up on on your monitors with the same unchanged spreadsheet that looks complicated on the other. You’re probably going to go out for lunch with your friends and take your time paying the check. Friday is day where the work (plot) doesn’t really matter and you can actually have a pretty good time if you work with people who are remotely cool. Usually each comedy movie has some bar or party scene where the main character gets too drunk and the does something stupid, but as an observer, its hilarious. Try and be the observer in that situation come Friday night in real life when your out with your jackass friends.

Saturday (TV Shows) – I’m cheating here and picking a whole different medium to describe my favorite day of the week. Saturday is a day of complete freedom and potential. Pick any show you want and binge the fuck out out it. Crush episodes of Entourage, be the last person to catch up on Breaking Bad or get baked and watch Planet Earth, this day is your oyster and if you’re not married or have kids, you likely have almost no obligations. Enjoy it as you seem fit.

 

MC

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